Cop: Have you been drinking?
Me: I been drankin'
Shakespeare would seriously laugh so hard if he found out how seriously people take his works. Like, he would probably cry from laughing so hard if you told him that his plays were considered high-brow literature. “It’s all dick jokes and sword fights,” he’d say, “do they seriously tell my dick jokes to schoolchildren? And the kids aren’t allowed to laugh? Do the teachers know they’re telling dick jokes? Oh my god that’s fucking hilarious. Wait until I tell Anne.”
Insights from the doctor who coaches athletes on sleep. Pair with the science of what actually happens while you sleep and how it affects your every waking hour.
More on sleep here.
Get that rest, folks! Science says so.(via nagromthewicked)
Wow the nerve these moms have… taking their children to the park.. I’m trying to smoke drugs here god